I know that many of you have noticed that we are getting yarn dyed and back up on the website... it always takes a while after the sale and after a show (Stitches West) but we haven't been talking about other things particularly.
The winter, even though it was not a hard one weather-wise, has been challenging for me after Ron's death in November. Ron had been not well for a while. I always knew it was likely that he would go before me since he was older than me and had more health problems, but I never really thought about after he was gone and how I would navigate this part of my life.
It took me awhile to do most of the paperwork. Something inside of me said, well if you don't change the name on the bank account then he's still with me and it's not final. And so it went with every kind of documentation and legal stuff. It's not all done, but I am walking through it one step at a time.
Going out on the road to Stitches West was difficult. I could lie and say it was great to be back in the saddle, but the truth is, I was not ready for it. I was still very sad. I hated to leave my dogs at home, to be away from the home Ron and I had made together. It may not make logical sense, but the emotions were still very raw.
Today (Saturday) was going along good until I was talking to the butcher at the grocery store about wanting some cuts they didn't have, and tearing up because I need smaller cuts, and smaller amounts. I don't really need roasts anymore. The smallest thing can bring the changes in my life right to the surface.
I am grateful for the change in the seasons, the time, and the length of daylight each day. I also love that I am sitting here writing this with the door open letting fresh air in.
What has changed in the last few weeks is that my color brain seems to have turned back on. I am now envisioning new colors, new color combinations, and ways to make things fun and interesting for our customers. I know that this loss and my grieving process will be close to the surface for a good long while, but I am grateful to have made a leap back toward breathing regularly again. (And things are blooming again!)
I think I am ready to start blogging more regularly again about the studio and what is going on. Thank you everyone for your prayers and thoughts. I do greatly appreciate your warmth and support.
68 comments
Jim and I send you a loving hand to hold as you walk through each day. You have filled my life with your beautiful creations and you have such a gift. Our best to you.
Wishing you Peace during this transitional time. May your heart and spirit grow stronger with each passing day.
Dear Miss Babs, I understand and empathize with you. My husband passed in September 2015 and not a day goes by that I don’t miss him and struggle with making my life whole again. Like you, I take comfort in the home we built together, our pets, our family and the feeling that he is now and always will be with me. The grief has softened over time and my tears more bitter-sweet. I hope knowing you are not alone in this journey gives you some comfort.
My heart goes out to you! My MIL lost her battle with cancer while I was at West, the day I gave you the Viajante in your biker chick colorway. I wanted you to have it so that maybe you might feel some love of having a hand knitted item. I can’t know what you’re going through exactly but I hope you can wrap yourself in it and know it was made with all the love and admiration I have for you and what you do. Keep on keepin’ on!
Dear Miss Babs, I love and appreciate your having shared this personal news. Condolences on your loss and good luck navigating the next part of life. Your yarns are among my favorites and we’ll gladly wait patiently for you to rebuild your inventory. Take each day as it comes.