I know that many of you have noticed that we are getting yarn dyed and back up on the website... it always takes a while after the sale and after a show (Stitches West) but we haven't been talking about other things particularly.
The winter, even though it was not a hard one weather-wise, has been challenging for me after Ron's death in November. Ron had been not well for a while. I always knew it was likely that he would go before me since he was older than me and had more health problems, but I never really thought about after he was gone and how I would navigate this part of my life.
It took me awhile to do most of the paperwork. Something inside of me said, well if you don't change the name on the bank account then he's still with me and it's not final. And so it went with every kind of documentation and legal stuff. It's not all done, but I am walking through it one step at a time.
Going out on the road to Stitches West was difficult. I could lie and say it was great to be back in the saddle, but the truth is, I was not ready for it. I was still very sad. I hated to leave my dogs at home, to be away from the home Ron and I had made together. It may not make logical sense, but the emotions were still very raw.
Today (Saturday) was going along good until I was talking to the butcher at the grocery store about wanting some cuts they didn't have, and tearing up because I need smaller cuts, and smaller amounts. I don't really need roasts anymore. The smallest thing can bring the changes in my life right to the surface.
I am grateful for the change in the seasons, the time, and the length of daylight each day. I also love that I am sitting here writing this with the door open letting fresh air in.
What has changed in the last few weeks is that my color brain seems to have turned back on. I am now envisioning new colors, new color combinations, and ways to make things fun and interesting for our customers. I know that this loss and my grieving process will be close to the surface for a good long while, but I am grateful to have made a leap back toward breathing regularly again. (And things are blooming again!)
I think I am ready to start blogging more regularly again about the studio and what is going on. Thank you everyone for your prayers and thoughts. I do greatly appreciate your warmth and support.
68 comments
I’m very sorry for your loss. Your words were very touching. My husband and I have been married for 51 years I treasure every single day.
Keep sharing your colors with us! Good Morning Glory has been twirling around in the knitting part of my brain all day while negotiating through a very dark rainy not fun day at work. What sunshine it is given me today! Please know how much your passion shines through our darkest moments! Time for me to indulge (sigh!) yet again! Thanks for everything you do, and allowing us “Babettes” to journey along side of you. My/our prayers are with you! XO
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
I’ve been silently watching and praying for peace for you. Everyone has already said (and probably more eloquently than I could) everything that I could possibly say. I hope you continue to use your blog to let us know where you are at and how you are doing as we are all invested in you!!
Dear Babs,
Your words have touched me so and I can read your strength through your moments of sadness. As we all know, time passing makes the hurt lessen, though they are always with us and, yes, we never know when emotions come to the surface. Please know that you have many of us wishing you the best and looking forward to the next time we can see you. Until we see you we will watch and see what new inspirations you come up with to brighten our lives as you do.