I know that many of you have noticed that we are getting yarn dyed and back up on the website... it always takes a while after the sale and after a show (Stitches West) but we haven't been talking about other things particularly.
The winter, even though it was not a hard one weather-wise, has been challenging for me after Ron's death in November. Ron had been not well for a while. I always knew it was likely that he would go before me since he was older than me and had more health problems, but I never really thought about after he was gone and how I would navigate this part of my life.
It took me awhile to do most of the paperwork. Something inside of me said, well if you don't change the name on the bank account then he's still with me and it's not final. And so it went with every kind of documentation and legal stuff. It's not all done, but I am walking through it one step at a time.
Going out on the road to Stitches West was difficult. I could lie and say it was great to be back in the saddle, but the truth is, I was not ready for it. I was still very sad. I hated to leave my dogs at home, to be away from the home Ron and I had made together. It may not make logical sense, but the emotions were still very raw.
Today (Saturday) was going along good until I was talking to the butcher at the grocery store about wanting some cuts they didn't have, and tearing up because I need smaller cuts, and smaller amounts. I don't really need roasts anymore. The smallest thing can bring the changes in my life right to the surface.
I am grateful for the change in the seasons, the time, and the length of daylight each day. I also love that I am sitting here writing this with the door open letting fresh air in.
What has changed in the last few weeks is that my color brain seems to have turned back on. I am now envisioning new colors, new color combinations, and ways to make things fun and interesting for our customers. I know that this loss and my grieving process will be close to the surface for a good long while, but I am grateful to have made a leap back toward breathing regularly again. (And things are blooming again!)
I think I am ready to start blogging more regularly again about the studio and what is going on. Thank you everyone for your prayers and thoughts. I do greatly appreciate your warmth and support.
68 comments
Miss Babs, I am so sorry for your loss! This has been very difficult time for you. Thank you for sharing; I hope sharing is helping you. I am helped when I am able to share my pain as you did. You continue to be in my prayers!
I’m so sorry you’re grieving. I know it can really hurt my creativity. I’m glad to hear your color brain has turned back on. <3 <3
Miss Babs you are one of the kindest, sweetest most creative people I know. I pray for you to have more peace and joy in your life. I hope each day gets easier, but know that I am sending lots of good thoughts and prayers to you. I lost my mom a while ago, and I want you to know that the beautiful colors and yarns you share with us have meant the world to me. God Bless you always.
sending you much love and tenderness. grief has its own path and journey. know you are cherished and loved, even while grief and grieving overwhelms the spirit.
Babs, I’m so sorry. It’s unimaginable how hard it must be to walk forward without him. You are the best kind of people, and so many people genuinely move and support you. Please add my love and support to lift you on your journey. <3