What a year! My whole world has changed and yet so much of it is the same. The loss of my husband just over a year ago, a new studio 5 months ago, the ongoing political turmoil, and travel to Germany and Netherlands have affected my life and its routines. Lots of change at home and at the studio. The same is the consistency of color and yarn in my world.
What have I learned or seen this year? One thing that has been reinforced for me is how intertwined lives are. When an action or reaction occurs to one person, it will also affect another and then another and then another. I think when I was younger, I would often consider it as "s**t rolling downhill" but I now just simply see it as the interconnection of us all - and no doubt it is the basis of our humanity. We simply are not in relationships alone, it takes the others around us to enlarge us and help us understand our lives as individuals.
I spent a lot of the last number of years focused on Ron and making sure his needs were met. This year really has been about restarting relationships with family, friends, and the folks I work with on a daily basis. And doing this as Babs, not as Babs and Ron. Finding a path without Ron is an ongoing adventure, and some of it has been extremely difficult. Moving from being almost always a serious person these last few years, to a lighter being is the true goal. I am in the "mess of change," and it's ok, but it doesn't always feel pretty or elegant or sensible or ok, but it is. (And sometimes, I am a little more emotional that I expect.)
Having yarn and color in my daily life means I have largely stayed sane through the year. As the color and yarn slip through my fingers and through my mind's eye, it has helped me when the sadness has wanted to overwhelm me. In truth, knitting and other handwork has been my saving grace through all my life, allowing me to settle down at the end of a long day and process what has happened or how I have felt. This is probably the truth for many of us who do handwork and it serves as a connecting thread for us who do this kind of "busywork". I think of it as one more way for me to connect with others, for our lives to intertwine. May your new year amaze you in wonderful ways.
(Knitting socks in Solar Eclipse Hot Shot.)
12 comments
It’s the same for me too. My favorite knitting chair with my bag by its side is my refuge more days than not. Another of my great pleasures is to log into your web page and create yarn sets in all sorts of combos, just to see the colors interact in different ways lifts my spirits. You are an inspiration to so many, Miss Babs. Bless you!!
I lost my husband 30 years ago. It’s a club that you never want to be a member of. I still think of him everyday. I learned there’s truth to the myth that the Phoenix rises stronger than before.