what I do. Jen and I were talking about being younger a couple of weeks ago and about how we developed our principles and so on. I can remember being unsure and cocksure at the same time, being in my body and out of my body at the same time (hormones raging), knowing what I thought I wanted and having not a clue how to get there, being sure of how the world should work and not knowing how to get it to be that way, wanting control and having absolutely none.
It has been a long trip getting here from there. I am certain that I have had it easier than others, having heard their stories, but I am grateful for the people I have met along the way, and the pain and wonder I have experienced. I can only hope that there will be a lot more years to go! (Many of my relatives lived into their 90's - healthy.)
Anyway, back to the point of this. Over the years, I have learned how to live without "control". I saw my father go from having many belongings to living in a nursing home with only a few personal items and how temporary all this stuff we accumulate is in our lives. (Think Haiti, Japan, and more.)
So what I do know is that my memories are what I really own today. This includes my memories of color, as it slips through my hands while I knit, the clothes that I have worn, the colors I have mixed to put on paper as I watercolor, the walls of the rooms of my home. I remember colors that are in movies...I may not remember the movie's name, but I remember the colors.
I have no choice but to be involved with color, but if my life's path was different, and I hadn't ended up being an indie dyer, I would still have color around me, and memories of color.
Now back to those kids who are in the process of growing and developing, well...the only way to it is through it. Jump in with both feet, ponder, talk, think, write it out, and experience life. Have friends, lose friends, experience the deaths of loved ones - from family to pets, be in the midst of life, do the dance of it as the song said, feel it.
1 comment
Came across this blog posting of yours , albeit several months on behind, and appreciated its content. I have a 17 yr old daughter and the generation gap between the two of us is very wide. She is very much wanting to be ’in control" and I as mom want so much to “protect her”. I need to be better at letting her experience life and all that goes with it , but its hard!.