I know that many of you have noticed that we are getting yarn dyed and back up on the website... it always takes a while after the sale and after a show (Stitches West) but we haven't been talking about other things particularly.
The winter, even though it was not a hard one weather-wise, has been challenging for me after Ron's death in November. Ron had been not well for a while. I always knew it was likely that he would go before me since he was older than me and had more health problems, but I never really thought about after he was gone and how I would navigate this part of my life.
It took me awhile to do most of the paperwork. Something inside of me said, well if you don't change the name on the bank account then he's still with me and it's not final. And so it went with every kind of documentation and legal stuff. It's not all done, but I am walking through it one step at a time.
Going out on the road to Stitches West was difficult. I could lie and say it was great to be back in the saddle, but the truth is, I was not ready for it. I was still very sad. I hated to leave my dogs at home, to be away from the home Ron and I had made together. It may not make logical sense, but the emotions were still very raw.
Today (Saturday) was going along good until I was talking to the butcher at the grocery store about wanting some cuts they didn't have, and tearing up because I need smaller cuts, and smaller amounts. I don't really need roasts anymore. The smallest thing can bring the changes in my life right to the surface.
I am grateful for the change in the seasons, the time, and the length of daylight each day. I also love that I am sitting here writing this with the door open letting fresh air in.
What has changed in the last few weeks is that my color brain seems to have turned back on. I am now envisioning new colors, new color combinations, and ways to make things fun and interesting for our customers. I know that this loss and my grieving process will be close to the surface for a good long while, but I am grateful to have made a leap back toward breathing regularly again. (And things are blooming again!)
I think I am ready to start blogging more regularly again about the studio and what is going on. Thank you everyone for your prayers and thoughts. I do greatly appreciate your warmth and support.
68 comments
Miss Babs, I’m so sorry that Ron has passed. I hope the good memories and your colorful work helps to ease the ache.
I have found in dealing with grief that it ebbs and flows just like the tides. The loss of parents, even after illnesses, was devastating. The strangest things would result in breaking down in tears. The first Thanksgiving without my Dad, in 1989, I put out the creamed onions only to realize they were his favorite and we only made the, for him. Get out the tissues, we all had a good cry and then each told a story about Dad. The one thing I have realized is grief doesn’t have a timetable. I lost a dear friend a year ago. I still think I’ll share something with him only to realize I can’t. That hurts. My thoughts and prayers go out to you as you go forward. Thank you for sharing with us.
Dear Miss Babs, You have been on my mind since your loss. Please know how much we all care about you and are truly saddened by Ron’s death. Thank you for being the artist you are and take things slowly. Sending you prayers for comfort.
Bless your heart honey…we stitch bitches are a stick-together group, who support you in your grief. It will be this way for at least a year. Allow yourself to grieve and know that, even though we have never met, we all grieve with you! Get out into the sunlight a bit and let your creativity work toward healing your heart. From North Carolina, we send our love and prayers!
I’m so sorry to hear about your loved one being gone and it truly hasn’t been that long ago. I hope fond memories help you heal. Much love to you! ??