And So It Goes...

I know that many of you have noticed that we are getting yarn dyed and back up on the website... it always takes a while after the sale and after a show (Stitches West) but we haven't been talking about other things particularly.

      

The winter, even though it was not a hard one weather-wise, has been challenging for me after Ron's death in November. Ron had been not well for a while. I always knew it was likely that he would go before me since he was older than me and had more health problems, but I never really thought about after he was gone and how I would navigate this part of my life.

It took me awhile to do most of the paperwork. Something inside of me said, well if you don't change the name on the bank account then he's still with me and it's not final. And so it went with every kind of documentation and legal stuff. It's not all done, but I am walking through it one step at a time.

Going out on the road to Stitches West was difficult. I could lie and say it was great to be back in the saddle, but the truth is, I was not ready for it. I was still very sad. I hated to leave my dogs at home, to be away from the home Ron and I had made together. It may not make logical sense, but the emotions were still very raw.

Today (Saturday) was going along good until I was talking to the butcher at the grocery store about wanting some cuts they didn't have, and tearing up because I need smaller cuts, and smaller amounts. I don't really need roasts anymore. The smallest thing can bring the changes in my life right to the surface. 

I am grateful for the change in the seasons, the time, and the length of daylight each day. I also love that I am sitting here writing this with the door open letting fresh air in.

What has changed in the last few weeks is that my color brain seems to have turned back on. I am now envisioning new colors, new color combinations, and ways to make things fun and interesting for our customers. I know that this loss and my grieving process will be close to the surface for a good long while, but I am grateful to have made a leap back toward breathing regularly again. (And things are blooming again!)

 

I think I am ready to start blogging more regularly again about the studio and what is going on. Thank you everyone for your prayers and thoughts. I do greatly appreciate your warmth and support.

Periwinkle

65 comments

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Maxine Jones

You expressed your feelings here so beautifully. Those little things will continue to come back, showing you he is still in your heart, but it will become less intrusive. I lost my husband at the age of 37 and now (in my 70’s) things still show up now and then. I loved when you said color is showing up again. As an artist I understand that completely.

Maxine Jones

You expressed your feelings here so beautifully. Those little things will continue to come back, showing you he is still in your heart, but it will become less intrusive. I lost my husband at the age of 37 and now (in my 70’s) things still show up now and then. I loved when you said color is showing up again. As an artist I understand that completely.

Lynn G

Babs, I went back to find this note. I couldn’t make my way through it when originally posted as I too lost my husband in November. The grief settles on me like a cloak, and I’m a shawl girl. Knitting is still difficult for me as I have trouble focusing. However, the colors of your yarn bring me joy. Making my way alone is a little difficult and I’m grateful for my family and friends. Wishing you the best on this new journey. Many good thoughts are with you.

Susan

I am so sorry for your loss. I am new to your yarns, but you have me for life with your gorgeous fibers and colors.
I lost my husband 17 years ago; complications of agent orange. He was also quite a bit older too.
I lost my father at 91 this past November the day before what would have been my 37th wedding anniversary.
I know words are not enough, but time helps to comfort. I still turn to talk to Bill or my dad about a home or car repair problem and they are not there. However my knitting takes me to a peaceful place and finding your yarns makes it a better place than it was before. Thank you for being you and doing what you do to brighten the lives of others.

Canne

Your shared comments are very touching as are the responses. It frightens me to have to face such loss, or to be the one leaving. I’ve worked with many grieving parents and a verse from Isaiah 40:11 is comforting —He gathers the lambs in His arms and holds them close to His heart. Sometimes our lambs aren’t the newborns. Blessings and comfort to you.

Bonnie Jane Peterson

Thank you for sharing your words. I am grateful for your sharing and making life real along with sharing your incredible talent with colors. I am always drawn to your color combinations and appreciate what you do. Blessings to you this Easter season.

Herbie

I am so sorry for your loss, I went through this same thing many years ago so I know your emptiness firsthand. The passing of a loved one leaves a heartache and loneliness that only God can fill. In the meantime, doing what you love is certainly a good way to help fill the void that only Ron could fill for you. I wish you many blessings.

Lynn

I’m very sorry for your loss. Your words were very touching. My husband and I have been married for 51 years I treasure every single day.

Chris Austin

Keep sharing your colors with us! Good Morning Glory has been twirling around in the knitting part of my brain all day while negotiating through a very dark rainy not fun day at work. What sunshine it is given me today! Please know how much your passion shines through our darkest moments! Time for me to indulge (sigh!) yet again! Thanks for everything you do, and allowing us “Babettes” to journey along side of you. My/our prayers are with you! XO

Cara

I’m so very sorry for your loss.

Thea

I’ve been silently watching and praying for peace for you. Everyone has already said (and probably more eloquently than I could) everything that I could possibly say. I hope you continue to use your blog to let us know where you are at and how you are doing as we are all invested in you!!

Connie G

Dear Babs,
Your words have touched me so and I can read your strength through your moments of sadness. As we all know, time passing makes the hurt lessen, though they are always with us and, yes, we never know when emotions come to the surface. Please know that you have many of us wishing you the best and looking forward to the next time we can see you. Until we see you we will watch and see what new inspirations you come up with to brighten our lives as you do.

Marilyn

Miss Babs, I am so sorry for your loss! This has been very difficult time for you. Thank you for sharing; I hope sharing is helping you. I am helped when I am able to share my pain as you did. You continue to be in my prayers!

Kate

I’m so sorry you’re grieving. I know it can really hurt my creativity. I’m glad to hear your color brain has turned back on. <3 <3

Robin

Miss Babs you are one of the kindest, sweetest most creative people I know. I pray for you to have more peace and joy in your life. I hope each day gets easier, but know that I am sending lots of good thoughts and prayers to you. I lost my mom a while ago, and I want you to know that the beautiful colors and yarns you share with us have meant the world to me. God Bless you always.

Laura Gayle Green

sending you much love and tenderness. grief has its own path and journey. know you are cherished and loved, even while grief and grieving overwhelms the spirit.

Suann

Babs, I’m so sorry. It’s unimaginable how hard it must be to walk forward without him. You are the best kind of people, and so many people genuinely move and support you. Please add my love and support to lift you on your journey. <3

Brenda Atchison

Jim and I send you a loving hand to hold as you walk through each day. You have filled my life with your beautiful creations and you have such a gift. Our best to you.

Cynthia

Wishing you Peace during this transitional time. May your heart and spirit grow stronger with each passing day.

Geri

Dear Miss Babs, I understand and empathize with you. My husband passed in September 2015 and not a day goes by that I don’t miss him and struggle with making my life whole again. Like you, I take comfort in the home we built together, our pets, our family and the feeling that he is now and always will be with me. The grief has softened over time and my tears more bitter-sweet. I hope knowing you are not alone in this journey gives you some comfort.

Stacey

My heart goes out to you! My MIL lost her battle with cancer while I was at West, the day I gave you the Viajante in your biker chick colorway. I wanted you to have it so that maybe you might feel some love of having a hand knitted item. I can’t know what you’re going through exactly but I hope you can wrap yourself in it and know it was made with all the love and admiration I have for you and what you do. Keep on keepin’ on!

Katie

Dear Miss Babs, I love and appreciate your having shared this personal news. Condolences on your loss and good luck navigating the next part of life. Your yarns are among my favorites and we’ll gladly wait patiently for you to rebuild your inventory. Take each day as it comes.

Sharon

Thank you for sharing this with us. I admire you so much and I’m glad you let go of some of the shows last year so you could spend more time with family. After reading the comments on this blog post, I can see that you have a lovely fan base. I hope you can feel our love and support.

Peace…

Kim

A wise person told me this at the memorial service for my dad: I will pray and send you love and support for the next year of holidays, birthdays, season changes as each season and event will bring new opportunities for you to grieve and heal. After that year, you will be ready to move forward anew. While I do not know you personally, i do adore your yarn. I look forward to your new color creations born out of this season of healing. Peace to you. Kim

Kim

A wise person told me this at the memorial service for my dad: I will pray and send you love and support for the next year of holidays, birthdays, season changes as each season and event will bring new opportunities for you to grieve and heal. After that year, you will be ready to move forward anew. While I do not know you personally, i do adore your yarn. I look forward to your new color creations born out of this season of healing. Peace to you. Kim

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