And So It Goes...

And So It Goes...

I know that many of you have noticed that we are getting yarn dyed and back up on the website... it always takes a while after the sale and after a show (Stitches West) but we haven't been talking about other things particularly.

      

The winter, even though it was not a hard one weather-wise, has been challenging for me after Ron's death in November. Ron had been not well for a while. I always knew it was likely that he would go before me since he was older than me and had more health problems, but I never really thought about after he was gone and how I would navigate this part of my life.

It took me awhile to do most of the paperwork. Something inside of me said, well if you don't change the name on the bank account then he's still with me and it's not final. And so it went with every kind of documentation and legal stuff. It's not all done, but I am walking through it one step at a time.

Going out on the road to Stitches West was difficult. I could lie and say it was great to be back in the saddle, but the truth is, I was not ready for it. I was still very sad. I hated to leave my dogs at home, to be away from the home Ron and I had made together. It may not make logical sense, but the emotions were still very raw.

Today (Saturday) was going along good until I was talking to the butcher at the grocery store about wanting some cuts they didn't have, and tearing up because I need smaller cuts, and smaller amounts. I don't really need roasts anymore. The smallest thing can bring the changes in my life right to the surface. 

I am grateful for the change in the seasons, the time, and the length of daylight each day. I also love that I am sitting here writing this with the door open letting fresh air in.

What has changed in the last few weeks is that my color brain seems to have turned back on. I am now envisioning new colors, new color combinations, and ways to make things fun and interesting for our customers. I know that this loss and my grieving process will be close to the surface for a good long while, but I am grateful to have made a leap back toward breathing regularly again. (And things are blooming again!)

 

I think I am ready to start blogging more regularly again about the studio and what is going on. Thank you everyone for your prayers and thoughts. I do greatly appreciate your warmth and support.

Periwinkle

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68 comments

I am very sorry for your loss. My father is very close to me. When the time comes for him to go, you would not see or hear me for at least a week or more because I would be crying too much. I really love your beautiful hand dyed yarn color ways. Don’t stop making your wonderful yarn. You have a regular customer for as long as your business exists.

Teresa

I’m very sorry for your loss.

Pennie

I so know what you are going through. I lost my husband a little over 2 years ago. He was older and in poor health. But I refused to think about the day when I would be alone. And now it hits me in the face every day. In fact, today was his inurnment at Arlington Cemetery 2 years ago. I wish I could tell you that it gets better. I guess it does, but slowly. I guess it goes by fits and starts. Hold those you love close, and hopefully they will hold you even closer. And do what you love. The rest will sort itself out.

Andee

You expressed your feelings here so beautifully. Those little things will continue to come back, showing you he is still in your heart, but it will become less intrusive. I lost my husband at the age of 37 and now (in my 70’s) things still show up now and then. I loved when you said color is showing up again. As an artist I understand that completely.

Maxine Jones

You expressed your feelings here so beautifully. Those little things will continue to come back, showing you he is still in your heart, but it will become less intrusive. I lost my husband at the age of 37 and now (in my 70’s) things still show up now and then. I loved when you said color is showing up again. As an artist I understand that completely.

Maxine Jones

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