Continued - A Year in Time

This is a difficult subject for me to talk about, but as you will be seeing pictures in the future from an obviously different location I need to talk about a significant change that has occurred for me, for my team, and for the business.

Right before Ron passed last year, I bought some land and we (Ron and I) signed the mortgage on a new building 3 days before he died. Please know that this is a difficult blog post for me to write. The past few weeks have been enlightening as I finally dig deep to understand feelings I have been having and trying to understand my own behavior. This is  a work in progress.

During the past 8 or so months, we've been building a new studio home for Miss Babs Hand Dyed Yarns. We finally moved late last week. The space we have been in was built to handle about 5 people. We have a few more employees than that now and it has been a life of "scuse me", bumping butts, scraping shins on bins and pots, and so on for longer than any of us cares to admit. The new space means that this is no longer happening. We can each have an adequate work space that actually maintains our personal space as well.

It also means that we are no longer on my home property where the business started and grew and thrived thanks to all of you. I was able to be at home all through Ron's last years and available to make sure he was safe and secure. Working from home and keeping our home was a promise I made to him in 2008 when things started getting significantly worse for him, requiring his retirement.  

So this change means I will now be driving to work, instead of walking across the driveway. It means that the dogs will come some of the time - they will have a fence and a gated area in the building where they can be without being in the yarn. What I finally figured out in the last few weeks is that while I was able to help plan everyone else's work areas, I couldn't think about my space. I was ignoring that I was avoiding my work spaces, and then it hit me in the face. I am/was having trouble with the whole issue of leaving Ron here. (I know he's dead.) When you've been doing something reflexively for years, it is difficult to change your brain, your habits, your daily routines. And that is what I have been doing. 

And all of these emotions explain why I have not wanted to talk about any of this publicly.

But besides all of my personal emotions --

  • We have needed a better space to work in.
  • I have needed separation from work.
  • My employees need a workspace that is not someone else's home and personal space.

Everyone has been wonderful over the years in helping maintain boundaries between home and work, but it just filters in. The coffee pot was in my kitchen, the undyed yarn was in my first studio that was part of the house, the meeting room was my dining room table area, and so on. 

In moving to a new location, I do not expect that we will make more yarn, but that it will allow new things to happen. Change simply brings change. We will be trying new dye styles, new color combinations, new projects, and so on. This will happen over time, not all at once. We will not have a retail location at the new studio and expect to continue our policy of no visitors.

This will not be the last time I write of Ron. He and I supported each other without end. He was the person I most trusted in the world, that had my back when no one else needed to or wanted to, he loved me through all that we went through together. His birthday is coming this week and is just one more first I am going through this week. I still can't figure out what to get him for his birthday, never could. So I guess the new studio will have to be it.

Here are some pictures of the new studio.

I love decks and I love windows that really open!

We have a real Break Room!

Yarn waiting to be twisted and labeled!

 

115 comments

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Lynne Morley

You have been brave and stepped-up to the challenge of loving someone and helping them thru the worst of it. I am not going to make this about me – have done it. There will come a day when you feel like you put down a cross, it is a process. Face this pain and be in the place where the memories are and soon you will have the memories without the pain. Blessings to you this holiday season.

Chris Austin

It’s so difficult to realize that when we lose a person, they still (and always will) reside in our hearts and memories. You haven’t forsaken Ron because you are moving your “physical space”. Ron hasn’t left you, he is still guiding you through this transition. I believe he is looking down, nudging you a bit here and there, and is SO PROUD of you. Change is good once we get to the other side of it, but to face our fear (and loss) is the only way we continue to learn and GROW. You are in my prayers! Remember Elizabeth Zimmerman “Knit on, with confidence and HOPE through all crises.” XO

Julie Clarke

Thank you for sharing a very intiment part of your life with us!!! God is working through you to touch the lives of many!!! May God bless you and your business!!

Lori W

Thank you for sharing with us Babs. I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious Ron. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, but I will be praying for you as I Knit your lovely Yarn…that Jesus will richly bless and comfort your creative soul in the happiest moments of sweet memories, and through the difficult moments of your profound loss.
Thank you for blessing all of us with your amazing gift!!
In His love,
Lori

Eia

(typing through the tears) I want to say simply this “You are so LOVED”! and you always will be!
Thank you for sharing. Having gone through the hell of losing loved ones, having had stage 3 cancer and now facing the fact that my beloved chihuahua (who to me is my second son) having late stage cancer I know pain. But I also know with all my being that death is not the end. It is just part of the journey all be it a sad part of the journey for those left behind. Know that Ron is not gone he is still with you and he always will be.
Love and prayers,
Eia

Dianne

So sorry for your loss. This is time of lots of transition for you. Your new location is beautiful and I’m sure that Ron has been with you every step of the way. He is looking over every aspect of the business and you. And I’m sure he is proud of what you have accomplished on your own. Continued luck in this lovely business you have. The new space will take on a special meaning for you. and the dogs will enjoy their new space as well! Hugs to you and your family.

Linda Fischer

I have been attending the Maryland sheep and wool festival for several years now and marvel at your yarns, patterns and popularity! I am sorry for your loss. Just proves that so often, others do not know what you are dealing with on a day to day basis. Your nee headquarters looks great! I wish you and your employees continued success!

Daina Sprague

Thank you for writing about your life after your husband passed away.

My wonderful husband Butch passed away Sep. 4, 2017. The last 8 weeks have been awful. Oct. 28th was our 50th wedding anniversary and tomorrow, Oct. 31st would have been his 73rd. birthday. I have been just sitting, crying, knitting and doing nothing just like you did. I hope I am able to get back to doing things too even though right now that seems impossible. The tears never seem to stop.

I love your yarn. I wanted to go to Rheinbeck, NY this year but I have trouble walking. My goal is to get there next year and purchase your yarn in person.. Keep up the fantastic job.

Knittingly yours,
Daina Sprague

Nancy Liedel

I can’t imagine life without my husband of 24 years. I know I would keep up what I do, and enjoy myself, but he is my right hand and many times, my left as well. The hard days, the days you just want to bury yourself in anything, are the days that you need to take a step back and breathe. Many hugs to you and it’s time I unpacked my three sweaters worth of your yarn and knit it. I’ve been hoarding it and it’s time to make my husband and myself a sweater.

Katie

What a wonderful
Loving carin personal
Story and thank you for sharing such an intimate part of your life
It makes everything I love about you and what you do even more special
Thank you!!!

Marlene Kelly

Dear Babs,
Words cannot be spoken to heal your hurting heart. Saying goodbye to our soulmate has got to be one of the hardest things to do. Please take time to grieve, time for yourself and if you are a believer in Christ, time to sit at His feet and pour out your heart to Him. He truly sees every tear we shed, and understands our sadness. He careth for you, and loves you so much. I pray that your new workshop brings you much joy in the future.
I love your yarn, and looking forward to being there on Saturday.
God Bless you Babs, I will keep you daily in my prayers.
❤️ Marlene

Roberta

Dear Babs,

My heart goes out to you. I have walked in your shoes. My husband of 55 years passed away the day after New Year’s this year. I also understand how difficult it is to be alone. Everyone says that time heals all but for me and for you I am sure, that will never happen. I see my husband everyday of my life and hope that you see your’s too. My best to you always and will see you at Rhinebeck.

Barbara

Stay strong. No one can tell you how long you are going to feel this way. I never meet Ron, but I have you. I lost my husband in 1999 and I still think of him daily. Ron will always have a special place in heart. I am the same way always thinking of others and not myself.

Betty Richardson

What a beautiful testimony to the love and life you two shared. He surely is at peace and watching over all you do. You are a strong and beautiful woman, I see it in your eyes at every show I attend. Know how we all treasure you, Betty

Alissa Norton

Congratulations and best wishes to you as you navigate this huge change. You and Ron built something wonderful with your company- I got a glimpse of that first hand last week, and I am honored to have the chance to contribute to your future success. Thinking of you!

Lori Lasher

Thank you for sharing such a personal and poignant post. Wishing you health, happiness and much success in the new headquarters. You have inspired with your beautiful yarns and that is a legacy you and Ron will always share.

Peppermint.Pati

This is the first of your blogs I’ve read but it strongly. It is almost 10:00 on Thursday evening, September 21, 2017. My husband died from ALS September 22, 2009. Life without him has been extremely difficult and I still feel as if he deserted me even though I know that he was suffering because of pain, inability to care for himself, inability to speak, and inability to swallow. While I was grieve that he died, I was glad that he was no longer suffering.
I am glad to see you moving on, taking charge of your life, and making it count for something — congratulations! ?

Connie G

So beautifully said and so poignant. Much happiness for you all in the new building and can’t wait to see what all you create. And to you, Babs, please continue to heal as Ron would want you to do. We love you as you were, as you are, and how you will be.

Gail Lunsford

I see Ronnie drinking a cup of coffee right in the middle of it all! I can hear him laughing and my gosh he loves every powerful thing you do. I am so proud to know you Miss Babs!

Andy Wright

Babs,
Your whole operation has always impressed me and I know Ron will always be with you in spirit. Keep doing the things you love and know that you’re truly an inspiration to others!

Tina

Thanks for sharing, go easy, do what feels right, it doesn’t get better it just gets easier with time. The new local looks amazing, and will serve you well. Needs to grow on you and then it can feel like “home” too.

Karen Odle

My thoughts and prayers as you all go forward with this change. What a wonderful legacy and memories you have of your husband. Congratulations to you and your wonderful team.

Cynthia Kittle

Thanks so much for sharing, Babs. I can understand why you felt you were leaving Ron, but I know that he will always be with you and you with him. Your new place is beautiful and will make your work easier.
Cynthia

Toni Neil

Precious post. Beautiful workshop home, clearly infused with the love of Love. Lots of hugs from me to you, and I suspect I’m not the only one sending them.

Jane Mills

Hi Babs – just read your words with tears running – my response is one of love and respect – yo have done SO well to continue with the dream that you and Ron had together and I wish you all the luck – you won’tneedluckas you obviously will be fine! My first husband died almost 30 years ago and I remember the feelings of desperation well – but although I imagined that I would fail, I have raised 3 daughters and have another husband and his daughter makes 4 – now 12 grand-children and a good life. Life goes on well – thank you for your words!! Wish I could visit – I live in the UK so it is too far!!!

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